Fifty Shades of Brittana
by fate-has-laid-a-hand
Summary: "Because real love, love that shows you colors and makes your breath hitch in your throat, never really fades. It simply becomes dormant over time. The fire diminishes to a spark until the next time you see her. And then it ignites." Will eventually include fifty one-shots/drabbles revolving around Brittana. There's bound to be something you like!
1. Rain Angel

_A/N: I'm going to attempt to write 50 one-shots about different aspects of Brittana because they are currently my OTP. _

_They will range from being mushy and romantic, to angsty and sad with everything else in between. I'll use songs or random inspiration to write them. If you have any request for a Brittana one-shot [since I'll eventually run out of ideas], leave it in a review with a short explanation of how you'd want it to go. I might use some of them._

_OH, and just because the title of this is "Fifty Shades of Brittana," doesn't mean this will all be some kind of kinky smut. Although, a few here and there might be._

_Naturally, I chose an angsty topic for the first one-shot._

_*****__Loosely based off of "Dark Paradise" by Lana Del Rey._

**Rain Angel**

_Summary: Santana reminisces the days she used to dance with her favorite blonde in the rain. Warning: Established character death._

_Enjoy__._

Some people say that sunshine brings happiness.

I'd have to disagree with that.

Because people who believe that, obviously have never danced in the rain.

The next time it rains, take the girl or guy of your dreams outside and dance with them.

Tango, slow dance, or even jump around like complete idiots.

Because when the rain is falling around you and the sky is dark, the only thing you'll be able to see clearly are their eyes staring into yours.

You'll be able to hear the soft pitter-pattering of rain hitting the pavement and the light laughs escaping the one you love every so often.

You'll feel their warm breath on your neck and you'll ignore the rain that's soaking through your clothes because you're in the arms of someone who will keep you warm.

When you see them smile directly at you, warmth will spread through your body and make you wonder how you got so lucky.

I remember the first time I danced in the rain as clearly as I remember the last.

It began when I was twelve years old and had a crush on the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my entire life. I had known her since we entered kindergarten and we had been friends since she sat next to me on those small, orange plastic chairs in Miss Smith's class.

I normally didn't play well with others, but there was something about her that I wouldn't allow myself to be rude to.

In middle school, most of my friends were talking about cute boys, but the only thing that was ever on my mind, was a girl named Brittany Pierce.

She had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled when she smiled in my direction. She was my best friend, and a dancer.

We were young.

I didn't think it really mattered whether you liked boys or girls.

I was never a soft-spoken kid, so I walked right up to her one day and told her that I liked her. She coyly looked at me through her eyelashes and said she liked me too.

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement.

Nobody gave us any trouble about being the first and only lesbian couple at our middle school. If they did say anything, it was behind our backs and no one started trouble over it. I didn't care if they did talk about us though, because I had the girl I loved, which was a lot more than they had to say about themselves.

I was scared to come out, especially because we were both young. But with Britt by my side, I thought that nothing would be able to touch us.

Kids did ask us a lot of awkward questions about our relationship though, specifically the horny boys. Britt and I always tried to answer them with a straight face.

It was a nice surprise that we didn't have to deal with taunts and jeers every day. It was Lima, Ohio. These things didn't just happen every day. Two preteen girls falling in love, I mean.

How could anyone even hate her though? She was so innocent and happy.

I can't think of her without smiling, even now.

We were kids who were in love, nothing else mattered.

The first time she asked me to dance, was when we were both thirteen.

We had just graduated from middle school and we were at her house, still wearing our white robes from the ceremony.

"Dance with me, 'Tana," She whispered, her voice full of playfulness and her blue eyes shining.

I gave her a semi-smile, "You know I can't dance, Britt," I told her while shaking my head. I really couldn't though at the time though. Singing was my strong suit; I had two left feet.

"I'll teach you." She didn't give me a chance to argue. She took my hand in hers and all I could think about was how soft her hand felt in mine as she pulled me outside into the downpour.

"Brittany!" I yelped. "My hair's going to get ruined!" I'd spent the entire day before trying to figure out what to do with my normally unruly hair.

"Who cares?" She laughed, not giving me a real chance to argue. Brittany snaked her arms around my neck and pulled me impossibly close to her.

Suddenly, I didn't give a shit about how my hair looked. I gave in, wrapping my arms around her waist.

I felt the rain already soaking through the robe and my thin t-shirt, but I couldn't stop the stupid smile that spread across my face.

We just swayed back and forth for what seemed like hours.

Neither of us cared that our parents always told us to not stand in the rain for too long, because we'd catch a cold.

It wasn't what most people would consider "real dancing."

We didn't do any fancy moves, and there wasn't even any music playing.

Brittany had always been taller than me, so our position was a bit off.

And when we leaned our faces close together, we both laughed because we realized the other looked like a drowned rat.

But even with her hair a mess and her light makeup running down her cheeks, she was still the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

The one thing I will never forget, no matter how old I become, was our first kiss. Because unless you specifically try to not remember your first kiss, it'll never really leave your mind. You'll compare every kiss after it, to it.

It was soft, slow and innocent.

We weren't even in high school yet, neither of us knew much about kissing.

When she bent down slightly to look into my eyes though, I looked deeply into her blue orbs and I knew everything was perfect.

It didn't matter that our noses bumped or that our wet hair got in each other's faces; a mixture of blonde and brunette.

It couldn't have lasted anymore than ten short seconds, but those ten seconds will always have a special place in my heart, just like she will.

Brittany always told me she loved the rain. She loved how beautiful it was and how peaceful it made her feel. She taught me that everyone should take a break from their normal life once in a while, to dance in the rain.

Our parents never thought our relationship would last. They claimed we were just kids who didn't know what we really wanted.

We proved them wrong.

We spent over seven amazing years together as more than just friends.

I can honestly say that even now, those were the best years of my life. I can't remember what it was like to not have her around me.

We shared more happiness together in those seven years than some people do in a lifetime. We got into fights and said we never wanted to see the other again, but we both knew it was a lie.

I had a bad temper, but when I raised my voice at her after having a stressful day, she knew exactly how to calm me down. She never got mad at me for yelling at her, even when we both knew she didn't do anything to deserve my heated temper.

And when she was feeling down because someone said something that wasn't so nice about her intelligence, I always managed to cheer her up.

I even went Lima Heights Adjacent on a guy once in our junior year of high school for calling her stupid, and other rotten names that I won't mention, because it still makes my blood boil.

Brittany knew she wouldn't have to worry about anyone when I was around.

I was the HBIC of our high school and Brittany and I, along with our best friend Quinn, started on the Varsity cheerleading team when we were freshmen.

At that point, it seemed like we were destined to be together.

Something you have to understand about Brittany is, she was never stupid. Anyone who tries to tell you that she was, didn't know her at all. She didn't have any type of learning disability. She just didn't think the same way as you or I. She didn't see a point to school, since she had it in her mind that she would become a professional dancer when she graduated. She had the skills to do it, too.

She wasn't cynical in the least and she always gave everybody a chance, no matter what they looked like.

If she worked hard on something, she had no problem understanding it.

She was the one calm, constant thing in my world when everything else appeared to be chaotic.

Then, when Brittany S. Pierce was nineteen years old, she was driving home from my house, in the rain and got into a head on car crash with a drunk driver.

She had just taught me how to Salsa and our clothes were still soaking wet when she left.

After we were out in the rain, we usually had time to go up to my room and change into dry clothes, but her mother wanted her home early that day and we lost track of time.

I'm not afraid to admit that I cried constantly for months after I heard about the accident. Even now, if I think about her for too long, there's a good chance that I'll break down into tears.

I beat myself up over it for nearly two years, thinking I could have done something to prevent it, when deep down I knew that I couldn't have. If I had known what would happen that night, I never would have let her get into her car.

But I didn't know. There's no way anyone could have predicted it.

I even blamed her mother for a short period of time. I thought that it was her fault because if she didn't call her at the exact moment she did, Britt could have avoided the drunk driver. Now, I realize how stupid that sounds. I know that her mother loved her just as much as I did and she was just someone to take out my anger on.

There were so many factors concerning her death. If just one thing changed slightly, then maybe she would still be here with me. But for whatever reason, she's not.

Even so, there's a lump in my throat that I can't get rid of, even to this day. I almost constantly think I'm going to cry if her name even enters my brain.

But right now, it's surreal. I can let her face come to my mind for more than five minutes without wanting to have a breakdown. I don't think I will ever think of her without automatically missing her, but it does get less painful for me to let my thoughts wander to her every now and then.

Quinn, Puck, Rachel, Finn, Sam, Mercedes, Artie, Kurt, Blaine, Tina and Mike all attempted to comfort me at different points. I love them for that. I knew they were all grieving as well because everyone had loved Brittany, but they knew that I was taking it the worst.

Quinn and I buried Brittany's old Cheerios uniform and a framed picture of the three of us together at cheer camp, in a spot in the middle of the woods. We were both crying the entire time.

I've tried to move on. I knew she wouldn't want me to be depressed forever.

When we were fifteen though, we promised each other that we would be each other's first and last girlfriend since neither of us were actually into girls. We were only lesbians for each other.

I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. I don't usually like making promises, but I knew I couldn't break this one.

I kept that promise. Truth is, I've never been attracted to any other girl besides her. I am 24 years old now and after Brittany's death, I grew closer to Puck. We've been dating for almost eight months.

He's a great guy and he's changed so much since we were in high school, just like I have. He already knew all about the relationship I once shared with Britt and he understands that sometimes, I just need to cry about it, no matter how long ago it was.

I'm completely convinced that we each only get one soul mate in a life time though, and Brittany was mine.

I may love other people, but no one can quite fill the void that that blonde created in my heart. It might sound like I need to get over myself, but I honestly don't care.

She died five years ago today, and her memory will never leave me, I'm positive of that.

I'll remember how her smile effortlessly lit up a room and how she always smelled like vanilla.

I'll remember her as someone who wouldn't really be able to help you out with your math homework, but if you wanted to learn a new dance, she'd get you to do it perfectly by the end of the day.

I'll remember the deep blush that spread across her cheeks each time I called her adorable or gave her any type of compliment.

I'll remember that her sweet spot was just below her right ear and that whenever I kissed it, she giggled.

I'll remember how she sometimes used to call me past midnight on school nights and beg me to sing her song after song because she couldn't sleep.

I'll remember how she loved Brittany Spears almost as much as she loved me.

I will always see her as that beautiful, happy teenager who always knew the quickest way to get a smile out of someone who was sad. Not as someone who left the world too early because of some man's terrible decision.

Five long years have passed and no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the thought of her from my head.

I loved her. I _still_ love her, and I know that I always will.

I just want people to remember her as amazing.

But if you can only remember one thing the next time the name Brittany S. Pierce comes to your mind, remember a girl who loved to dance in the rain.

_A/N: Okay, this wasn't originally intended to be this sad but... I'll make the next one happier, unless you guys prefer I keep it angsty. Thoughts on this though?_


	2. Just One More Day

_A/N: Okay so my original intent was to not connect these stories in any way, but I just got this idea. It doesn't necessarily go along with Rain Angel, but it's obvious that it can. I did change a few things, so it doesn't exactly follow the first one. Semi-connected._

_I also know I made Brittany sound a bit too smart in the chapter but she's grown wiser._

**Just One More Day**

_Summary: Brittany wishes she could be with Santana for just one more night. Warning: Established character death._

I remember the time you laid a blanket out on your backyard and we stargazed together. You called me sweet names in Spanish and held my hand. We stared at the stars until they faded away and the sun began to rise.

We were so happy.

You told me that you would love me until the end of time and I told you the same.

Spring was just starting and the ground still held that winter chill but you hugged me close to you and kept me warm.

You used to love the stars. The way they sparkled during the nighttime when everything else in the world was dark and quiet.

I remember everything about you so clearly that if I concentrate hard enough, I can almost smell you around me. Your scent was a mixture of cinnamon and coffee and it was the best thing that's ever hit my nose.

The curve of your full lips when you smiled at me will be forever burned into my brain. So will the way your pouty lips felt against mine. Your lips were so soft and they fit mine perfectly.

The way your deep, chocolate brown eyes shone with emotion whenever I told you that I love you or cuddled you close to me.

You used to hold me tight and call me a genius when others said I was stupid. You told me to believe you because you had never lied to me before. And I did believe you. I believed everything you said because you were my Santana and I was your Brittany and I trusted you with everything I had.

Remember how we used to dance in the rain? The first time was before we even got into high school. I knew you were reluctant at first, but I also knew that you loved me enough to do it for me.

Hey, do you remember the day we met?

I think you do, but I love that memory.

I transferred to a new school in fourth grade after my family moved to Ohio.

I knew that friendships had already been established, so I was afraid I'd be an outcast, especially since I was shy and a bit tall for my age. Plus, at my old school, people used to make fun of me because I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. I always seemed to say the wrong thing.

It was my first day and I walked into school fifteen minutes late, because I was begging my mom to not make me go.

Once she finally got me to go inside, the teacher introduced me to the class and I slipped into the only empty seat in the back of the room.

The whole class was silent as the teacher went on and on about the times tables, which I almost completely ignored.

Soon enough, lunchtime came.

Everyone rushed to the closet to get their lunches. I stayed behind, waiting for them to clear out so I could get my own. My mother had forced me to take the My Little Pony lunchbox I used in kindergarten because she hadn't had time to get me a new one and she had thrown out the purple one I used last year.

Even though I loved My Little Pony dearly, I was beyond embarrassed of it. What nine year old would be caught dead with that piece of plastic?

I tried to hide it as I walked to the lunchroom by myself but it didn't work too well.

"Hey loser, did your mommy make you bring that?" Some big fifth grade boy said in a whiny voice. It was clear that he was mocking me. I know I wasn't that bright, but I realized that much.

I tried to ignore him, but then his friend joined in. "Yeah, go back to preschool, baby." I tried to hold back the tears that were forming in my eyes, but it was getting really hard. Especially when a third boy ripped the lunchbox away from me and threw it down the hall.

"Hey!" I cried, watching my lunch fly all over the hallway and my pudding cup explode as it hit the wall.

The three boys laughed. "Hey, guys look, she's crying," The third boy said through his laughter.

I balled up my fists by my sides and turned away from them, bumping right into you.

You looked angry. I was about to stutter out an apology for running into you, but then I realized your anger wasn't going to be directed at me. You were staring directly at the three boys.

"Leave her alone, you jerks!" You growled at them, stepping out in front of me. Their laughter quickly died down and they almost looked scared.

"S-Sorry Lopez..." Boy number one muttered.

"Yeah, we didn't know you were friends with her..." Boy number two said, hanging his head.

"Well I am, so beat it," You snapped. You turned to me as the boys quickly scurried away. "You okay?" You asked, brushing a tear from my cheek.

I nodded slightly, looking over to where my lunchbox lay. "Thank you," I said quietly, wiping the rest of my tears away.

You nodded then picked my lunchbox up and handed it back to me. "Don't listen to them, they're idiots," You told me. I shared a smile with you before throwing my food into the trash, since it had been on the floor.

"Come on, you can share my lunch," You held out your hand for me to take and the smile returned to my face.

You were so brave. You saved me.

You tugged me over to a round lunch table and introduced me to your friends.

There was Lucy, a blonde girl who was a bit shy because she was chubby and Puck, the boy with the short Mohawk. Rachel and Finn were fighting about something and didn't even notice you and I sit down. Then there was Blaine who seemed really nice, Kurt who was giggling at something he had said and Mercedes, the diva.

"And I'm Santana Lopez," You said, handing me half of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"I'm Brittany S. Pierce, but you can call me Britt," I answered, smiling widely at you.

You smiled back and I felt butterflies in my stomach. It was then that I knew we would be best friends forever.

I knew you would always protect me. Nobody called me stupid when you were with me.

When we were in seventh grade, you told me that you liked me. I was so happy that you did because I had already known that I liked you, since the day I met you. The only reason I didn't say anything to you first, was because I was scared. But you were always the brave one.

We started dating. I didn't think it was weird. I knew girls were supposed to date boys, but I didn't want any boys. I only wanted you.

You used to snap at me sometimes, but I knew you didn't mean to. You were just stressed. I think it only happen four or five times when we were together though. I know your parents were hard on you. I never yelled back because I knew you didn't actually want to fight with me. You just needed to be held and kissed and told that everything would be okay.

We'd wipe away each other's tears, no matter what.

You were perfect to me.

When we got to high school, you were so confident, which made me more confident as well.

You helped me with my schoolwork and if it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't have graduated.

I remember that Lucy wanted to be called by her middle name after she dropped the baby weight. You, Quinn and I were the heads of our school. We made the Varsity cheerleading team when we were only just freshmen.

Its stupid thinking about it now, don't you think? Because none of it matters anymore. Yeah, we were at the top of the popularity chain in high school, but who really cares? It was pretty good for us though, because I think that's one of the only reasons no one bothered us about being together.

Oh, I miss Q too. I miss all of our friends. I miss you the most though.

We spent seven years together. Can you believe it? It seems like such a long time, but it all flew by really quickly. I wish we could have had more time. We needed more than a lifetime together, but we didn't get it.

I'm so happy you have Puck in your life now. You're the one who needs to be protected now, Santana. He'll take care of you, I know he will. He'll be there, because I can't. But continue to be that brave girl I always loved.

I wonder if you think of me as often as I think of you.

But, I want you to know that you didn't have to keep that promise we made to each other. If you had found a girl who you thought you could love, then I would've wanted you to be with her.

I want you to be happy but I miss you so much that my heart aches. I know it wasn't supposed to end like this. I know that you know that too.

The only thing I remember about that day is us dancing. I just taught you a new dance and we were laughing and kissing and it was perfect.

Then, my mom called me and I had to go home. We said goodbye, I got into my car and then...it's just a big blur. I didn't know what happened to me at first.

If you were wondering though, it didn't hurt.

It was instantaneous.

I think another small piece of my heart died each time I saw you cry over me.

It was so unbelievably heart wrenching for me. You were so close, within reaching distance even, but I knew I couldn't touch you. I couldn't comfort you and that killed me.

I know I hurt you. I didn't mean to cause you so much pain.

So, I'm writing this letter to apologize to you, Santana, even though I know you'll never be able to read it.

Notice how I keep using your full name? I feel like I lost every right I had to give you nicknames the day I...left.

I'm sorry. So incredibly sorry.

I hope you know this wasn't my choice. You have to know that. Do you understand that if I could still be there with you, I would be in a heartbeat?

Don't cry for me anymore, Santana. Please.

I'd give anything to be able to spend one more day in your arms. Just once more in your comforting, warm embrace.

But, I get to watch over you now, Santana. I'm like your personal angel. Isn't that cool?

I'll always be here for you, just like I promised I'd be when we were kids. Just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I won't be there if you need me.

I know I should let go.

But I also know that I never will.

I hope you don't hold a grudge on anyone anymore, for what happened. It was a preventable accident, but maybe it was just my time to go.

I know it's been five years. I know you have a new love. Just please...don't forget your first.

You were the best thing that's ever been mine, Santana.

I'll be dancing in the rain outside of your window.

Look up; I'll be floating around the constellations.

I'll visit you in your dreams at night.

If you ever start to miss me baby, you know where to find me.

I'll keep you close to me, even though we're worlds apart.

I will always love you.

In death as well as life.

Please, please don't forget that.

Yours forever,

Britt-Britt.

_A/N: This is arguably sadder than the first. But like I said, they sort of go together, but there are differences._


	3. To Let Her Go

_A/N: Decided I'm just making these short drabbles from now on. I've been getting prompt requests on tumblr, and I posted them there, as well as here._

_PROMPT: Santana Dies And Brittany Has A Mental Breakdown_

Now you're staring at your dark ceiling and it's around 3am.

And maybe you've had a few too many drinks, so the room might seem like it's spinning.

But that's the only thing getting you through the days anymore. You didn't have her, but you had your alcohol.

Your head feels fuzzy and warm, and you muse that that's how she used to make your heart feel.

Her voice is clearly echoing through your head, but that's nothing new. It's become a daily occurrence to try to remember the way she spoke.

From what you can recall, if honey had a sound, it would definitely be her voice. Smooth, with a soft rasp to it.

You always see her face in your mind before you fall asleep. But the vision isn't yours to touch or to keep. Maybe you're going insane.

But in your mind, after you close your eyes, all you can see is her tanned skin and dark hair. Her mocha brown eyes, staring into yours.

But your own eyes were cloudy and unfocused. If you didn't know better, you'd say that they had turned from a cobalt blue, to a much paler shade. Can heartache do that to a person?

Not that you noticed much about your appearance lately, anyway. Why did it matter?

You reach over and grope the air until you find the neck of your Captain Morgan bottle. Lifting it to your lips, you down the amber colored liquid, ignoring the burn as it slides down your throat.

You let your eyes fall shut as tears silently slide down your cheeks.

It should be easy to fall asleep because of how much alcohol is running through your system, but your drunken brain won't shut off.

You lay still for a few more minutes, as your tears fall onto your pillow, being absorbed by the pink material.

Then, you stand up a bit too quickly and stumble over a discarded beer can, landing face first on your hardwood floor. The pain doesn't register in your mind though, because from your new position on the ground you can clearly see the old photos you stuffed under your dresser months ago.

You put them there because you didn't want to constantly be reminded that she's not here anymore. You didn't want to forget her, but you were waiting for the day where you could look at a picture without feeling as if your heart's being stomped on.

The first picture that catches your eye is the one of the two of you in freshmen year. She's making a kissy face in your direction and you're just grinning at the camera.

Then you notice that small heart, carved into the front left leg of your dresser.

_S + B  
4eva._

You stay right where you are and you cry.

Your chest heaves and your shoulders shake, but you don't make much noise. There aren't any heart wrenching sobs escaping your lips, just many silent tears.

Like many nights before this, you cry yourself to sleep right there on the floor.

There's no Santana to make you feel better, or to call you a unicorn. You can't text her and tell her you miss her and she can't randomly show up at your bedroom window.

Maybe one day you'll finally accept that she's not yours to have anymore.

But, not tonight.

No, tonight you'll drink yourself just short of being in a coma.

You'll stay in the fetal position on the ground, and beg every higher power you can think of to send her back to you.

But you know that you'll wake up the same way you always do tomorrow morning; hung over and alone.

You always knew you loved her.

But you never knew how much it'd hurt to have to let her go.

**Tumblr: fate-has-laid-a-hand**


	4. Loving Her Was Red

_Prompt: Describe Brittana using colors and senses. _

_A/N: Used "Red" by TSwift for my inspiration._

If you were going to categorize you life in colors, than loving her was definitely red. It was like there was a constant fire burning in the pit of your stomach, sending all of your senses into over-drive.

Every smile made butterflies swarm into your stomach and every touch made your head spin.

Yes, loving her was definitely bright red like you've never known.

But when she left, a huge fire hose immediately doused the flame. The feelings were still there, but now those flames were like icicles.

Missing her was every shade of blue you could imagine. Your heart was as blue as your eyes. It's like a dark grey cloud that's constantly hovering over your. You smile, but no one seems to realize that it doesn't quite reach your eyes.

There's no fire left, because she isn't around anymore. But there's still a small spark of hope. And that spark is ignited each time you hear her laugh over the phone, and each time she stops by for a visit.

You've attempted to move on; even though the theory of moving on is something you'd rather not be familiar with.

You got yourself a boyfriend. He's a good guy and it's obvious that he cares about you, but this relationship is nothing compared to what you once had. What you have now is sweet and simple, but it's also boring and lacks the excitement and passion that you crave.

Being with him is the equivalent to a pale yellow or mint green. It's bearable, but doesn't catch your eye. Relationships, in your opinion, should make your heart want to burst open whenever you're around the other person.

But she was a deep cranberry red, or maybe a royal purple. Being with her felt like neon pink and a creamy orange, all mixed together.

She was everything he could never be. She was better than the rush that came with motor cross and sweeter than pure sugarcane. More desirable than having your very own unicorn as a pet.

In the beginning, she was a mix of colors all lumped together. You couldn't decipher one from the other because she kept them closed off. She wouldn't let you see her beautiful side, even though she always showed you her best side.

But when she told you she loved you, instantly your world lit up in a huge burst that contained every shining color of the rainbow.

And the day she let you go, the colors faded away. Something that was once a warm sunset turned into the dark hues of a thunderstorm.

The day she came back, you let the spark be reignited. It wasn't a choice though, more of an instinct. No more pale shades of drab colors, only bright, blinding neon lights.

You knew that her light wasn't needed with you right now though. She needed to be a part of something that was as big and amazing as she is.

So you were the one that let her go this time.

You let her go with full intent on reclaiming her the moment you could.

Because real love, love that shows you colors and makes your breath hitch in your throat, never really fades. It simply becomes dormant over time. The fire diminishes to a spark until the next time you see her.

But loving her will always be red, and that means you'll never give up

_tumblr: fate-has-laid-a-hand_


	5. Butterflies and Sunshine

_A/N: Originally posted for Brittana Week '13._

The Sun was high and the birds were singing.

Two small girls, maybe seven or eight years of age, sat together in the tall grass that desperately needed to be cut. Rather, one was sitting up and the other had her head resting on her friend's lap.

One of them was slightly taller than the other, and she was the one who was sitting with her face turned towards the sky. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and a fluorescent pink cast on her right leg. The cast was covered in signatures and bright, colorful stickers, just the way she wanted it. But one name that was written in purple Sharpie and in loopy cursive with a heart next to it, was bigger than the rest.

That name belong to the dark haired, brown eyed girl who's eyes were closed and who's head was on the blonde's lap.

"Sanny," The girl with the pink cast whispered, lightly poking her friends shoulder with her fingertip.

Santana reluctantly opened her dark mocha eyes and was immediately met with blue orbs. "Yeah, Britt?"

"Am I boring?" She asked with a pout, breaking eye contact to pull blades of grass out of the ground.

Santana frowned. "'Course not. You're the least boring person I know." She answered matter-of-factly.

Brittany wouldn't accept that as an answer just yet. "But I can't do anything because of my dumb leg. I'm so stupid for breaking it," She smacked her cast with the palm of her hand in frustration.

Sitting up, soothing word easily flew from Santana's lips. "Your leg isn't dumb and you're not stupid, 'kay? It was an accident and I like just sitting here with you. We don't hafta be running around to have fun." For only being a little girl, she always knew the right thing to say to her best friend.

Okay, so maybe jumping from the top of a sixteen step staircase wasn't the brightest idea. But that certainly didn't make Brittany stupid. It was simply just a bad decision, made by a girl who wanted to fly like the dragons she read about in her storybooks.

That made Brittany's face light up in a bright smile and her cheeks turn a light pink color. She was much more believing of her friend's words now. And why wouldn't she be? Santana didn't have a reason to lie to her. "Love you, San."

Santana's faint blush was easily hid by her darker complexion. "Love you too Britt-Britt," She smiled back, patting the spot Brittany had hit on her cast.

Brittany's smile grew wider, which Santana didn't even know was humanly possible. "You're the bestest friend ever," She happily stated, leaning over to leave a brief kiss on her friend's cheek.

Santana' s cheeks turned a darker shade of red, and now it just barely showed. She didn't feel too embarrassed about it though, because Brittany's blush was much more noticeable. "So are you," The little brunette grinned, wrapping Brittany up in a huge bear hug.

Neither of the pair knew what was causing their stomachs to twist into knots and fill with butterflies. But they subconsciously agreed that it was a pleasant feeling.

One that they only felt around the other.

They had the rest of their lives to sort out their feelings. For now, they were just going to be little girls relaxing in the grass and soaking up the sun's rays.

_A/N: tumblr: fate-has-laid-a-hand_


	6. Mothers' Little Handfuls

_Santana and Brittany have three daughters... Chaos ensues._

"Alexia! Stop chasing your sister right this minute!"

"Jasmine! Get your little butt back here!"

"Sugar, get off your phone and help me with your sisters!"

Brittany Pierce-Lopez was not having a particularly good day. Chasing two little kids around while her oldest was oblivious to everything, wasn't her idea of fun.

Her wife will get home from work in a few minutes, but she knew that Santana would just add to the chaos, since she was a kid trapped in an adult's body.

Her youngest daughter, Jasmine, ran straight into her left leg. "Momma!" She wailed as her older sister Alexia, rolled her eyes.

"Alexia, what did you do to your sister?" Brittany sighed, too exhausted to yell as she hoisted Jasmine into her arms.

"Nothing, she's just being a big baby!" Apparently, Alexia had no problem with yelling at the moment.

Jasmine just continued to sob into her Momma's shoulder and Brittany's head was pounding. "Just go to your room, we'll talk about this later." She kept her voice neutral and Alexia stormed off in a huff. Brittany heard Alexia's bedroom door slam shut.

Minutes later, her oldest daughter, Sugar approached her. "Momma, can I go to a party tonight?"

"At who's house?" Brittany questioned, setting Jasmine back on her feet since she had finally calmed down.

"Ashley's." The fifteen year old answered with a shrug.

The blonde raised a concerned eyebrow. "Ashley? I've never heard you talk about her before. I wanna meet her parents first."

Sugar let out a long sigh as she rolled her eyes. "They're out of town for the weekend."

Brittany shook her head. "You're not going to an unsupervised party, you're fifteen." She said firmly.

Her oldest stomped her foot and groaned in frustration. "You never let me do anything!" She turned and stomped up the steps to her room. Another slammed door.

Jasmine looked up at Brittany. She was a bit too young to realize that she shouldn't ask anything of her Momma at the moment. "Can we have ice cream for dinner?"

Brittany rubbed her temples with her fingertips. "No, Jasmine. It's not healthy," She didn't even know why she was bothering to explain her reason for saying no, because Jasmine was just like her older sisters.

She huffed as well before running into her own room. Brittany thought she was copying Alexia and Sugar, and she was probably right. However, Jasmine was too short to reach the doorknob to her room, so her door didn't slam shut.

~ Later that night ~

"San, they're such a handful," Brittany grumbled, slipping into bed beside her wife.

Santana smiled knowingly, immediately pulling the blonde into her arms. "But they're our handfuls." She stated matter-of-factly.

Brittany smiled, snuggling into the warm embrace of Santana. "I know. I love them, but it's just a lot to handle," She said as the brunette pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I know babe. I-" Santana's sentence was cut off by a knocking at their bedroom door.

The two women shared a grin. "Come in!" Santana called.

The door was slowly pushed open, and their three daughters were standing there with their heads hanging.

Sugar spoke up first. "We just thought that we could, um..." She trailed off.

Brittany rolled her eyes but smiled. "Are you guys coming up here or what?" Both her and Santana moved over to opposite sides, so there was enough room for their daughters.

All five of them wore grins as Jasmine, Sugar and Alexia all launched themselves into the California king size bed.

"Love you Momma."

"Love you Mami."

"Love you Sugar."

"Love you Jazz."

"Love you Lexi."

All the girls chimed in at different times.

'I love yous" where exchanged for at least 10 minutes before everyone agreed it was time to go to bed.

"Love you, Britt."

"Love you too, San."

The two women shared a sweet, chaste kiss which effectively got an "ewww!" from their daughters.

Life in the Pierce-Lopez house was insane sometimes, that was a fact that could not be denied. There was constant yelling and fighting, but that was to be expected.

But at the end of each day, not one person forgot to say "I love you" to every member of their household.

They were a family, for better or for worse and none of them would change that for the world.


	7. If Momma Says No, Ask Mami

"Momma, can we get this?"

Brittany looks up to see what her daughter is talking about and when she does, her eyes nearly fall out of her head. "Sugar, that four wheeler is six times the size of you. There's no way you can use it within the next twenty years." She firmly states.

Sugar pouts at her momma but all hope is not lost for this little five year old. She turns and runs to Santana. "Mami, can we get this?" She asks, pointing towards the four wheeler again.

Brittany bites her tongue, silently hoping her wife has enough sense to say no.

Santana inspects the bike for a few short minutes before grinning. "This thing is awesome. We can totally get it."

The blonde slaps her forehead with with the palm of her hand. "Santana!" She scolds, walking up to the pair.

"What?" The brunette asks innocently, running her hand along the leather seat.

"There is no way we're getting this." Brittany says, folding her arms across her chest.

Just when she thinks her mind is made up, both her wife and daughter look at each other before bursting into tears.

Brittany's eyes widen in shock. "Santana, I swear to God..." She warns to no avail. Santana isn't listening to her and the only way to get them to both shut up is to agree. Sugar and Santana are wailing loudly and dramatically, and are causing quite a scene.

"Alright, alright!" Brittany relents, throwing up her hands in frustration.

Almost immediately, both Santana and Sugar's tears stop flowing. "Sweet!" Santana cheers giving her daughter a high-five.

Brittany rolls her eyes. "I can't believe you two," She grumbles. "It's like I'm raising two five year olds.

Santana just grins widely and pecks her wife's cheek. "Love you babe."

She then lifts up their daughter so she can kiss Brittany's cheek as well before saying, "Love you Momma!" Then she's off with Santana, in search of a clerk to wrap up their new four wheeler.

Brittany remains where she is, a faint smile playing across her lips.

Her girls were a handful, but she couldn't ask for a more perfect family.

Santana did, in fact, have enough sense to talk Sugar into getting a much smaller, battery powered Barbie car. She promised her daughter that she would get to ride the big four wheeler in a few years and until then, Santana would be riding it. So for now, Mami and daughter would be riding side by side through their backyard.

Who knows, maybe even Momma will join them in their antics.


	8. Conversations With My 7 Year Old Self

_A/N: My take on the At The Ballet scene with mini-Santana._

"Sanny?"

I heard someone call my name, and I looked around for a second, not really knowing which direction it had come from. The voice sounded oddly familiar and childish.

That's when my eyes landed on...well, me. Seven year old me. She appeared right in front of me, and I was staring straight into her familiar eyes. She was wearing a tutu and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun. I must've been dreaming, right?

"Um, Santana?" I asked, bending down so we were eye-level.

She beamed a grin at me. "Hi. Tell me what growing up is like?" Her voice sounded so optimistic and bubbly. I began wondering when our voice stopped having that childish amusement to it.

I took her smaller hand in mine. "Well, a lot of things won't make sense. You'll be confused and angry but that's okay. You'll meet someone who'll make your life so much better and you'll have all these feelings that you won't understand at first. But this person is very special, and they'll always be there if you need them." I didn't know exactly why I was saying what I was saying, but it sounded right.

My younger self's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why isn't this person here with us?" She asked with pure curiosity.

I took in a deep breath and gave her a small smile. "Because they wanted us to follow our dreams."

Mini-me gave me a knowing smile in return. "You know that Britt will always love us, right?" She asked, giving my hand a squeeze.

I blinked several times, but slowly nodded. "Yeah, I know." I stood up straight, keeping her hand in mine.

Her smile grew wider and she wrapped her arms around my middle. "Good. Because we love her too. And whatever's meant to be will happen."

I returned the hug, wrapping my arms around her small frame. "I wish we were actually this smart when we were this age." I quietly muttered.

Younger me pulled back from the hug, sternly looking into my eyes. "Don't doubt yourself, San. You're really smart and talented and Brittany believes in you. Follow your dreams here in New York, and wait for her to find her way back to you."

I smiled widely, draping an arm over her shoulders. "I love you, Santana." And I did. I loved myself because I fought hard to get where I was right now. The girl I loved was still back in Lima, but I'll never give up on her. But now, I had to focus on my life and career, because I knew I could make something of it.

Mini-me smiled right back at me. "That's all I ever wanted to here."

Buuuzzz. Buuuzzz. Buuuzzz.

It's around 11am when I wake up to the sound of my phone vibrating with a new call.

I'm still reeling from my vivid dream, but once I check the called I.d., my heart skips a beat.

"Britt?" I answer unsurely, sitting up on my bed. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah... Yeah, everything's great." She pauses for a minute to clear her throat, and I wait for her to continue. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was already awake," I lie, running a hand through my unruly bedhead.

I think we both know I'm lying, but she continues anyway. "I miss you," Brittany says so quietly that I can barely hear her.

I can barely swallow past the lump that's forming in my throat. "I miss you too."

And just like that, our relationship is slowly building back up.

Maybe we both need some time to find ourselves. We're both young. We have time.

But I could never be _just_ friends with Brittany S. Pierce.

My subconscious seven year old self even knows that.

So we'll become unbearably close again, and when Britt moves out to NYC after graduation, maybe we can pick up where we left off.

But one thing's for sure, my heart will always belong to a beautiful blonde with shining blue eyes and a smile that could light up a room.


End file.
